ConsecratioN

BLOG CLOSED

2006-09-15T00:31:00.000+08:00

Since I haven't been blogging for quite awhile, I decided to close this blog. No point leaving it hanging without an end...
Till something stirs in me again... I guess personal journals are better.

Bye everyone!

Never the same again

2006-06-18T17:21:00.000+08:00

An experience of the Holy Spirit in his fullness and annointing... How can anyone be the same again?

As Billy Graham has experienced the revolution of God's Spirit in his life, I want it to!
As what one of my sheep, Shijie said "If God gives you the Holy Spirit but you dont use it, then give you for what?"

With the Holy Spirit in you, your life must never be the same again.

Holy Spirit manifest ever more evidently in my life! I must never be the same again. Work in me what I can never do!
Change me from the inside out. God, I want your authority & strength to be so evidently displayed in my life.

Spiritual Discontentment

2006-06-14T23:36:00.000+08:00

Encounter Camp has awoken my spiritual discontentment in the group. There must be more than this! Spirit of God come do your work!

ENCOUNTER 2006

2006-06-10T22:31:00.000+08:00

Encounter 2006, A Spirit Filled Generation, has come to a closure.
This camp is one of a different experience for me. On one part, stressful because it is my 1st camp as a CL & on top of that, I'm also in the games committee. Honestly, I didn't really learn alot from all the teachings, however I was really ministered by God's Spirit in this camp.
God's Spirit flooded the place. Everyone there could testify.

Isaiah 32:15 till the Spirit is poured upon us from on high, and the desert becomes a fertile field, and the fertile field seems like a forest.
The rain poured. Both spiritual & physical. The camp is not the end.
God! Let your Spirit continue to overflow in our lives evermore!

It is NOT about the Numbers

2006-06-05T11:34:00.000+08:00

"Don't give me the crap that it is a numbers game," said Pastor Jeff during his sermon.
It may sound crude but he speaks from his heart. It is so true. Will you still look at it as a number if that "number" is your family member or close friend?
We outreach to people not because we want to be the biggest church or for our own glorification, but for the fact that people need God & it is the Great Commision.
Here we are not talking about material things that fade away, but souls which are eternal. Eternally in Heaven or Hell. And if we really abound with the love of God in us, we will feel the urgency to outreach.

Do you value God's Word?

2006-05-23T23:44:00.000+08:00

Father, You know that I tend to read the newspapers more religiously than your word. I resolve today to give priority to your Word, the Bible. Thanks Holy Spirit for telling me of this today.

It is true that I spend more time reading newspapers everyday than I do with the bible. I do not know why, but reading the newspapers sort of has become a responsibility to me. Perhaps because I feel the need to keep myself updated & gain knowledge to prevent my mind from degenerating in the SAF.
Today the Holy Spirit made me realise how silly I am to follow the newspapers more religiously than the bible. I'm not saying that reading newspapers is wrong or that I won't read them anymore. However, what is the fleeting knowledge of the today's world compared to the eternal Word of God? The Word of God has shown its relevance through ages & centuries. The knowledge that the Bible possess, far surpasses that of the any newspapers. No doubt at times the bible may be hard to understand & fathom. Yet the bible is applicable arcoss culture, time & space.
Qn: Want to gain knowledge that is relevant in all circumstances?
Ans: Read & study the Bible.

Holy Spirit give me greater insight into the bible and more of your rhema word.

Central Brother's Night

2006-05-22T00:13:00.000+08:00

Thanks derrick for lending your house to us for central brother's night! I guess it will also be the last time we get to wreck havoc in your huge bungalow since it has been sold off.
Anyway we really had a great time.
Central Brother's Night started off with Daniel giving an inspirational guys teaching : To dare to Dream, Desire & Sweat for the Kingdom.
There after we had a great time of games, playing a CS type of game with all the lights off. Followed by a "gun bound" type game. It was fun. Watched FF7 on a projection screen, but i went to sleep half way through, it was already 0330.
We should have more of this sometime. :)

My Love Languages

2006-05-18T23:13:00.000+08:00

The Five Love Languages

My primary love languages are probably
Physical Touch, Quality Time and Words of Affirmation.

My secondary love language is probably Acts of Service.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:		7
Quality Time:		7
Words of Affirmation:		7
Acts of Service:		6
Receiving Gifts:		3

Seems like I have many different love languages. Don't have to fret about how to love me... hahaz
And though receiving gifts has the lowest score, I like to receive gifts too, especially expensive ones or if it is really meaningful to me =p

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Holy Spirit versus Willpower

2006-05-18T22:06:00.000+08:00

Romans 8:1-4 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. 3For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, 4in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.

My friend in camp is a strong believer of the willpower of man. He believes that by sheer willpower, man can do anything he wants. Even supernatural things like the healing of illnesses, he feels that it is up to man's willpower. Ego & pride.
After doing day 19 of the Encounter! devotional, i realised how silly this school of thought is.
I am reminded that when I once brought up to my friend about his domineering nature, he told me that he is just like that, he can't change.
With willpower you can do anything? I beg to differ.
Man can't even have complete mastery over himself: his desires, his personality, his thoughts & his actions.
That's why as Christians, we cannot live on our own willpower alone, we need to entrust ourselves to the Spirit of Christ in us.

Holy Spirit, I yield to you! I live according to the Spirit, no longer bounded by the law of sin & death. Refine my thoughts, motives & actions. No longer by my own might & strength but by the Holy Spirit. The power to overcome & to conquer.

Man's greatest battle rages within him. But he will never win on his own, because he is carnal. He needs the Holy Spirit.

Davinci Code Movie

2006-05-18T21:49:00.000+08:00

I've watch it. For someone who hasn't read the book, the movie isn't spectacular at all. For tryphena who watched the movie with me & has read the book, it must be mundane or even dry. She mentioned that alot of details were missing, especially the part about the sexual rituals in the book.

I'm glad that I went for the davinci code seminar, I could explain the half-truths & controversial claims of the davinci code.
Creative use of half-truths, but remember it is just fiction. If you do watch the movie or read the book, hopefully you'll be inspired to research more on the real truth.

Jesus is God.

DAVINCI CODE SEMINAR

2006-05-14T23:49:00.000+08:00

There's a DAVINCI CODE SEMINAR at Nexus tomorrow at 8pm. Sorry for the late info, but if you read this, and are interested, please do go for it.

I shared a testimony for the 1st time on stage last friday, vesak day. It went ok for a 1st timer :)
Saturday was parents' day service, there was a video clip with me being interviewed and the bulletin had a message from me to my parents, it was regretable that my parents didnt come. :(
I realise i actually sound foreign to myself & weird, when i hear myself being interviewed.

2006-05-10T22:22:00.000+08:00

Sunday, 24Hr duty until Monday. Tue, 24Hr duty until Wed. It's quite tiring...
So many things on my mind that I want to do, yet always facing the lack of time...
Finally this week I'll be able to see all my guys, field camp is finally over for them. Must get everyone to register for Camp. Talking about that camp games... time is ticking. Better be more focus. Mother's day this weekend, but my parents are leaving the country! Can't celebrate :(
I've invited my mum for saturday's service, but she gave me a "i don't know answer."
I got a pair of tickets to watch a movie at cineleisure on mon-Thu. Think I'll be taking off on Thurs to watch it... Who shall I date? Hmm... maybe one of the uni students who is having their summer break. :p

2 days... looking back.

2006-05-05T23:56:00.000+08:00

The passed 2 days have been fulfilling for me, that is, for a rather choleric person.
On Thursday after work, I met up with jiehui to discuss alot about the NS group & ministry. A good point that was brought up is that you can't build the NS ministry the same way as high school & JC, the dynamics are totally different. NS ministry has to be build by imparting Vision & not fun. When everyone has different schedules & you don't meet your cg members even once a week, it isn't all that fun. He also shared about his Thailand missionary trip which sounded really great, I will really want to go on missions trip next time too.
After that I went to stay over at my ex-sheep's house, had a nice time catching up with him, as well as his elder sis.
In the morning, I helped his mum to fix a lack of disk space problem on their desktop. (By the way if you use norton internet security & you are always out of disk space, ask me for help.) I managed to clear about 57GB of space on their computer!
I left a mango pudding for on tryphoza's table before I left their house.
I decided to take a long walk home, on the way back, stopped by Freedy Prajitna's condo and visited him. We had a really great time catching up and sharing about our lives and spiritual conversations.
Left freedy's place, bought lunch home back to eat, left for my driving lessons. (My driving instructor mentioned that he is going to vote for Workers Party.)
Went home & took a really long 3 hours nap.
Hurried down to plaza singapura for games committee meeting. Had BK for dinner, more than a month since I savoured it. If all goes well, camp games is really going to be great this june! Much better than december's. :) God please provide us with all the resources we need!

Lots of activities again tomorrow. Raymond will be coming for service, I'm excited to meet him again.

Holy Spirit, I want to serve with you in me & by my side always. I want the supernatural power that only the God of all creation can give.

Prayer

2006-05-02T22:31:00.000+08:00

There are many books published about Prayer in the market. I have glance through a few books, but I have yet to even finish reading one of them.
I can read those books & understand all about prayer, but if I do not pray what is the use?

For me, setting aside time to pray is contrary to my choleric nature. Honestly, I do not really like to pray. I would rather use the time to do something more visibly productive like reading a Christian book or going through teachings.

Yet, recently as I prayed more, I gain some insights about prayer. I've reach some resolutions about prayer:

1) Prayer doesn't always have to be done with our eyes closed and hands together. Prayer is talking to God, I can do it any time, anywhere and in any situation.
2) I don't want to just say prayer because I am told to or supposed to.
3) Prayer is not about the flowery language and bombastic words that one uses, but about the level of Faith that one prays with.
3) I want to be passionate about prayer, and that means praying for the things that really matter to me. Then I will be serious about prayer and not just praying for the sake of praying.
4) I want to pray with a child-like faith, claiming it and believing it in my heart that God hears and will provide it according to His will. My Daddy always listens and He will give what is best for me.
5) Be persistant about prayer, God works in His divine timing.
6) There will be times when I don't feel like praying and don't feel passionate about it. Still, I will pray, not because I am supposed to, but because I have to! I will pray for God to renew my spirit & lift me up.

1 John 5:14This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

Some of you will ask, how do we know if the things we want to ask for are according to his will? (Things that are not sinful, but not exactly spiritual either. That's my definition of non-spiritual.)
Well, if it really matters enough to you, PRAY! You'll know that it's according to God's will if He gives it to you. :)

Prejudice & Bias

2006-04-30T23:33:00.000+08:00

Prejudice & bias abound in human society. They stem from certain impressions that we perceive about a certain group of people, often they are generalisations, which may not be true.

I too, am bias and make generalisations about people. I have come to realise that in the NS ministry especially, it is really important that these bias and prejudice be broken down. There are all sorts of people in NS that we will meet, the rich & the poor, the degree holders & those with just secondary 2 education. There will be bias, but let's overcome them.

Holy Spirit, help me to see through God's eyes, that they are people who you also want to reach out too, they are also your lost children & they need you. Help me to love even more.

Come to think of it NS is a place where the segregation of social & education status is at its lowest. It is where there is interaction between the different echelons of society, whether they want to or forced to.

Lord, help to make the best of this. I want to approach each & everyone with a fresh clean sheet in mind.

Different Denominations

2006-04-29T00:09:00.000+08:00

The reason there are different denominations within Christianity is because the Bible allows for us to have differences of opinions. However there are a few essential doctrines that is central to the Christian Church.

These essential doctrines are,
Jesus is both God and man (John 1:1,14; 8:24; Col. 2:9; 1 John 4:1-4).
Jesus rose from the dead physically (John 2:19-21; 1 Cor. 15:14).
Salvation is by grace through faith (Rom. 5:1; Eph. 2:8-9; Gal. 3:1-2; 5:1-4).
The gospel is the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus (1 Cor. 15:1-4; Gal. 1:8-9).
There is only one God (Exodus 20:3; Isaiah 43:10; 44:6,8)
God exists as a Trinity of persons: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Jesus was born of the Virgin Mary (nature of incarnation)

If your church teaches otherwise, it isn't a Christian Church.

Holiness

2006-04-24T21:59:00.000+08:00

There is a misconception that good Christians must be 'Holy', do only 'Holy' things & mix with 'Holy' people.
Holiness is not a outward behaviour, but an inward change of your spirit.
Those who focus to be 'Holy' outwardly, will just end up like the Pharisees in the bible, people who are devoted and extremist in very limited parts of The Law, and have a skewed view of Christianity. Pharisees build walls with the rest of the Jews by their overly strict adherence to the law; self-righteousness.

It is possible to be Holy without 'holy isolation'.
Daniel, a man of God stayed in Babylon, a place of idolatry and evil and served king nebuchadnezzar, who wasn't a follower of God. Jesus himself went to live & dine with sinners.
We as Christians are called to be in this world, yet not of this world, so that we may be a beacon of light to those around us.
When God's love change you, you'll become more & more like Jesus. There's no need for a 'pretentious holiness', Holiness will pour forth naturally in action & speech.

Christians are humans too. We too have fun, laughter, outrageous and crazy moments.
Let's serve with Joy and not out of pretense or false holiness.

Commitment

2006-04-23T01:34:00.000+08:00

What does Commitment mean to you?

We have unlimited wants but limited resources. Time is always a constrain, everyone has the same 24 hours a day. As humans, we can learn ways to manage our time better, and hopefully apply them in our daily lives. Some will have more free time than others to play around with.

Yet, when you manage the time you have available to you, what do you prioritise 1st?
Is it more for self-centred purposes or for the Kingdom?

There is no right or wrong answer in prioritising. How you want to manage your time, is your choice. But from how you spend your time, I can tell what matters to you.

Early in the morning...

2006-04-20T10:28:00.000+08:00

"As long as the river flows, as long as the wind blows
My heart belongs to
As long as the seasons change, as long as the farmers need the rain
My heart belongs to You
Lord, I know I don't deserve the grace You give
So I will give my heart to You that I might live
You are my God, early in the morning will I
Rise to meet You, rise to meet You
You are my Lord, early in the morning will I
Rise to meet You, rise to meet You"

It's just so wonderful to wake up on a weekday morning, knowing that you dont have to report to camp. I basked in the sunlight that streamed through my window, it's really rare for me, because I usually wake up at 5.30am to go to camp.
I am quite a choleric person, usually seeking to do something humanly productive. However, I chose to just spend time with God on this beautiful morning.
The unhurried time available, to just worship God with my guitar and read his word is just so refreshing to me. I really must spend such kairos time with my Father whenever I can.

Now back to my choleric nature. What should I do today? All the NS guys are in camp, Jiehui & Daniel have just left for the Thailand church camp...
I thought of going back to AJC, to visit my ex-teachers, and perhaps chit-chat with some of the J1 hoppies there. But come to think of it I dont even know the current J2s, I'm 2 years their senior. Though some may still remember from my short relief teaching stint last year. :p
Or maybe I should go to Xinmin sec and visit my ex-students... (I hope to relief teach there again next year after NS.)
Or I could just go disturb freedy prajitna but he is really serious about completing his assignment, better not...
Then again, I think that I should do some caregroup visiting today: I have 2 in mind, Jinqi's cg & my ex-sheep Thaddeus's... Ok I'll ask them about it. :p

But 1st, I should just go for a haircut before lunch. My RSM told me that my hair is getting long yesterday. hahazz

EASTER SPECIAL

2006-04-16T22:07:00.000+08:00

As Easter 2006 draws to a close, let us once again be reminded of the extent of God's Love and what it means to us.

Watch the presentation in the website below:
http://www.hechosethenails.net/

What do you value?

2006-04-16T11:36:00.000+08:00

The Parables of the Hidden Treasure and the Pearl Matthew 13:
44"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. 45"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. 46When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.

What do you truly value?
Where & how you spend your most valuable resources will tell. What is most valuable to you right now? For most it will be time & money.
It becomes especially clear, when your resources are greatly limited.
A change in environment happens & all of a sudden, u feel that the time you have is cut back. This is so true in NS. When you only have 1.5-2 days a week of freedom out of camp, what do you do? The same goes for students, when you change schools, there are new friends, activities & distractions. Where do you spend your time?
It is easy to commit time to the Kingdom before enlistment, for you have plenty. Now your time is restrained. It is a good time to reflect on this & perhaps you'll find the answer to what you truly value. If there is a need to change the way you spend your time, please do. Your shepherds and leaders will be glad to work out a schedule with you to help you manage your time.

On a side note, someone commented that I now live & breathe for the Kingdom. I'm not regretting it, for I see the value in God's Kingdom. :)

I'm restarting my driving lessons.

Restarting blogging

2006-04-16T11:16:00.000+08:00

Now that my guys are all in bmt, guess there's no reason for me not to find time to blog...
I'll try to blog regularly again. For all those who complain that I dont update my blog, here goes... enjoy reading. :)

Growth Points 1

2006-04-07T20:29:00.000+08:00

Why am so easily affected by negative things that happen to me in camp? Extra duties, work stress, people-pressure... It is normal for one to be affected, but yet what will my response to it be? Will I be like a boat tossed around in the ocean? Like one who doesn't have an anchor?

No, this must not be.
Lord my strength is in You. You are my rock. You are my fortress. You are my refuge.
Help me to find peace in You in the midst of adversity and discouragement.

Psalms 23:
1The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me

Father, also help me to learn to trust in you no matter what may come. All these happened for a reason, that I may grow in character & stature.

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

I may be inadequate, but God annoints me to lead His flock.
Drawing a parrallel, the SAF gives me authority over the rest of my branch. Though I am younger & less experienced than some of my colleagues in branch, I am appointed to be the admin supervisor. It is time that I take responsibility of this appointment. It won't be easy, I dont have the rank, and domineering colleagues & deep-seated 1st impressions exist. Still, I will try.

Lord, help me in this, to lead with your Spirit living in me. Not only within the walls of the Church, but also in my camp & my sphere of influence. Annoint me Father, for You have called me to be victorious.

Through it all

2006-03-05T01:33:00.000+08:00

It's been over a month since I last blogged.
A lot of things have happened since January, not really pleasant things. A time of great trial and testing. It isn't over yet completely. However, I have a new found strength in Christ! Stronger and more resilent.
1 John 5:4 for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.
I'm an overcomer. It is my birthright to be victorious. I will claim it.

Troubles

2006-02-02T23:44:00.000+08:00

Things haven't been going well lately...
Father help me through this time of trial.
May I look back and see Your hand in all these.

14 days of confinement & spiritual growth

2006-01-19T15:37:00.000+08:00

14 days of confinement in camp, not as a recruit, but as a corporal. Not many will experience that. Burned 2 weekends and Hari Raya Holiday, nothing I could do about the situation.
The reason why I got it, was what I still think is unjust. Many things happen before that and the confinement was the final straw. The details, I do not wish to elaborate and dwell any further, however if you want to know, ask me personally, I'll share. I'm requesting to post out of my unit, but it's not easy to get out. I'm waiting to see how things turn out.

Frankly I started out the 14 days feeling downcast, with worries about my ministry, my cg and my sheep. The 14 days in camp wasn't "take it as a holiday chalet" like what my colleagues suggested. There was fatigue work to do like plucking weeds, sweeping the carpark, cleaning toilets, etc, though the frequency was low. The TV in my camp could only receive Indonesian channels & the Internet computers are all in my office. I was completely cut off from TV and I rarely touched the internet computer.

I pondered alot and on the 2nd day, I came to a decision. I could choose to wallow in self-misery and self-pity, being bitter about everything that had happen or I could make the best use of my time while I was trapped in camp. I was unable to change the situation that I was in, but I could change my attitude towards it. I told God that if that was his testing for me, I'll humbly accept it and grow.
1 Cor 10:13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
God, you think highly of me. hahazz By Your Grace, I'll overcome.

The 14 days became a time of spiritual retreat for myself. There were minimal distractions. I worship with my guitar & prayed so much more often. My reading of God's Word also increased and I also had the time to pick up Christian illterature to read. I also used the time to help some people with their friday/weekend duties, I know the urgency to return home after one's duty. Volunteered to do things like evening cookhouse duty & stand-in the morning duty until the next duty clerk comes, so that others may leave earlier. I really thank God for my parents, though they may not be able to comprehend what I was going through, they showed me love, by bringing food and washed clothes for me a few times while I was confined.
I also meditated on many things, on God's plan for me in all these, in my ministry, on certain issues and on self. I gained fresh insights on some of God's ways and came to understand myself better.

I learned more about God's character, his unchanging character, yet different ways. Many people have the impression that God seems to be a fierce God in the old testament and a loving
God in the new testament. Yes, God's wrath poured more often in the OT as compared to the NT. But then doesn't mean God's character has changed, God just used different ways to approach man.
Luke 12:48 From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.
In the OT, God showed his presence much more explicitly to the people, through miracles and wonders. Yet they still continued in sin. Much was given to the isrealites in the OT and much was expected of them, the conquences of their sins were harsher.
God's character never change. Even when He gave the Ten Commandments, Grace & Love preceded it.
Ex 20:2 "I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.
This opening statement is a pledge of God's Love and Grace for his people, what God has already done for His people. Grace precedes Law. The Law is there to protect us, to keep us from sin. Living out God's commandments is a life that Grace implies.

I also realised a few things about myself. I tend to place others' expectations on myself. It is good to consider the well-being of others when you do things, but I realised that I've over-done it. I tend think of what other's will think more often rather than than their well-being. I'm reminded once again that I'm living for the audience of One. Holy Spirit, help me in this.

And because of other's expectation, I'm hesistant to show my weakness to people. My colleague mentioned that he'll lose respect for people if he thinks that they are weak or incapable. But no one is perfect. Everyone has flaws and weaknesses, though vast and diverse they may be. I'm reminded of these verses:

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Paul didn't hide his weakness, he was frank about it. I want to grasp this spirit of Paul. I will not be ashamed to share my weaknesses. Jesus, I will depend on you evermore, show your providence in my weakness.

I'm looking forward to new challenges and opportunities in my ministry. Hopefully I can post out to a non-active unit to have more time to serve. My driving test date is closing in, my instructor mentioned that it is unlikely that I can make it in time, the repercussions of the confinement... haizz God please see me through this! Well, come what may, I will be ready for them. With You in the centre, everything's going to be alright!

Lord, I do not pray for tasks equal to my strength; I ask for strength equal to my tasks!

I'm Back

2006-01-18T22:43:00.000+08:00

I'm Back after a 14 days confinement in camp. The experience is one noteworthy, when I have the time. Till then...

My People

2006-01-04T00:54:00.000+08:00

How will I lead My People?
Ponder...
By the Will of God.
I'll pray about it.

New Year Resolutions, with a Difference

2006-01-02T23:06:00.000+08:00

Finally have sometime to sit down and blog, just before I book in tomorrow.
New year resolutions... Gain weight, get fitter, grow in God, disciple new sheep, be CL, UL... Yes, they are things that I hope to achieve this year. Everyone has things that they want to do for a new year, that it has become so passe and routine...

Rather than just making resolutions, I want to make resolutions pertaining to the Word of God, I will list down verses that I want to claim personally.

1) Matthew 5:16 In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
This verse has been on my laptop background for many months already. I want to claim it, that I will be a city on a hill that cannot be hidden, a positive influence to those around me, to bring Christ's light to them.

2) Psalm 23:1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
God is the supplier of all my needs, my rock, fortress and my strength. Jesus, you are more than enough for me.

3) Psalm 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?
When God is in the centre, worry has no place. God you are omnipotent, fears shall no longer seize me, for You are with me.

4) Isaiah 40:31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
5) Zechariah 4:6b 'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty.
I don't want to depend on my own might and intellect. Lord I asked to be empowered by the Holy Spirit to do your will. Holy Spirit, overflow in me. God, I ask for Your annointing, Your wisdom, Your strength, Your divine authority & empowerment.

This is my prayer, I want to claim Your Word in my life. Amen.

New Year Reflections

2006-01-01T13:20:00.000+08:00

2005 came and went. Time may have seemed to fly, but come to think of it, it didn't in fact. There were really memorable things I've done in 2005. For one Teaching in xinmin in secondary, and short stints in St Nicholas and AJC. Even promoting newsweek and economist in RJC, SAJC and SRJC. I didn't like the latter though, guess sales isn't really my forte. But I loved the former, interacting with students, educating them. However I didn't really had the time to impact their lives deeply enough. Still, it is an experience that I'll cherish.
Collect A level results, soon it's NS...

Then there were the times of bitter-sweet partings, of my beloved 1st sheep and North-east. The parting wasn't nice, but I wanted to go too, I couldn't really serve effectively anymore in North-east. A NS group was pioneered in central, so there I went. I'm not a stranger to transfers and restructuring, have been through 4 already. As long as it's for the the good of the Kingdom, I'll do it. Meet new people build new relationships, forge new friendships. As well as renew old ones, those who were from pre-tertiary like jiehui, kaiyan and jinqi. Growing new sheep...

Im looking forward to this year. A new year of challenges, of testing, of pruning... Sounds sadistic? hahazzz I really mean it. There's no such thing as a stagnant Christian, u either have to be growing or backsliding. Shirley said this year will be a year of challenges. I'll claim it, that it will come.
God, I desire to be moulded by You. Please refine my character that I can be use even more by you.
I'm no longer young, no longer in my tens, soon I'll be 20. Life's journey on earth is short, make it count, I don't want to look back to regret.

I'll continue later... time to plan something for my family gathering later....

New Year's Eve

2006-01-01T12:18:00.000+08:00

To cut short on the details:
After church service ended around 5.15pm, we hanged around starhub, contemplating on a place to have our central F cook-in.
After much asking around, we decided on samantha's place, we finally left starhub close to 7pm and proceeded there.
1st stop toapayoh NTUC to shop for food. Bought quite alot of stuff. Joel came to join us just as we were about to leave, he just shaved his head due to a bet that he lost. lol
Samantha's flat was really cosy and teeming with people at that point time. Everyone was just sitting around and watching TV(which Derrick commented was smaller than his monitor screen) and playing cards. It was more of a relaxing gathering rather than a planned one. Lausanne and a girl from ngeeann poly(Sorry forgot your name :p) came to pop by later on. I volunteered to do the nuggets and fries. The food turned out quite sumptuous, the spaghetti, the chicken and mushroom campbell soup, the nuggets, except the fries, which was soggy caused we didnt deep fry them but microwaved. Then there were derrick's delicious cookies, wait thats an understatment, it's even better than famous amos! Like what junyao said crunchy on the outside but soft on the inside... Absolutely delectable, though abit on the sweet side.
We left around 11pm, decided not to follow daniel to central B's stayover. Was at the bus interchange when I realised I forgot to take jiehui's cards, went back to sam's house to take it. The 3 girls were still there, spending newyear together I guess.

Home to spend a different new year, one without shouts and screams(my ear drums were already burst by lausanne's high pitch voice...), a quiet time with God while hearing the distant fireworks and sparklers go off. It may seem lonely at 1st, but it's actually quite enjoyable and a very good time to reflect... Next entry.

A Christmas to remember

2005-12-25T19:17:00.000+08:00

This Christmas is one that is really memorable.

1st of all, this is the 1st time I made an effort to write personal cards to more than 30 over people, all within the span of 1 day. (Really sorry if you didn't receive one from me, there are many others whom I want to write to too, but I really had no time with my packed schedule.)

On the night of 23rd Dec, I went to visit my cousins at their house, spent the night there. Came back home early next morning to continue the Christmas cards. Left for church service which is at 12.30pm. The drama was really great, jinqi really looked like a kopi auntie. And xiangyu did a very moving performance, her tears were real, so were some of the audiences'. After service at starhub, a myriad of cards and presents were flying around. Joel, who just joined us recently, was pleasantly surprise, that he received quite a few gifts. I received quite a few cards and presents, some quite unexpected like from Dan & Elise. Then there are also presents that I didn't know who was it from like a box of ferrero rochers(Anyone?). Next time remember to write name on your presents. hahaz
The most memorable present however was from jiehui, who gave me a Christian keychain with my name engraved. Thanks alot everyone!

Then after that I went home for family BBQ with my mum's relatives. Mingled awhile, then I left to find AOC in ECP. This is the highlight. I've never spent Christmas at ECP before, we dont have a chalet, just 1 of the shelters. We rented bikes over night. I cycled alot, for fun, as well as ferrying people to and fro on double bike. Played quite alot of great games like ultimate frisbee, table soccer and 2 war games. Thank you game masters for organising them!
I managed to get some personal time with hongmun, cycling all the way to Bedok jetty, hanging around there to chat for quite awhile.
Time really flew, soon we were playing our last war game at about 4am. It involved the use of candles and many ppl including me, got waxed. The wind became really strong in the middle and we had to abandoned the game.
It started to rain real soon and we all went under the shelter. The wind was really strong, the type that will chill you to your bone. Everyone huddled together in the shelter. The rain, though spoilt our game, help us bond closer to each other. We got to know each other much better, interacting and seeing to the physical needs of others(offering our jackets, extra shirts, etc). Everyone came out cold and wet, but our friendship was warmed and glowing.
AOC has moved up another notch. This community of God is growing. Daniel should be glad. :)

The true meaning of Christmas is found in the verse that's so common, yet so deep:
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Christmas is not about santa claus, the fun or the lightings. It is about God's amazing Grace and his great Love for us. For us to be reconciled to Him.

Christmas's coming!

2005-12-22T01:11:00.000+08:00

Christmas's coming!
I'm really encouraged by various testimonies from my fellow brithers and sisters in Christ.
However I've been too pre-occupied by work recently. Have been working until 11.30pm, 12am for the past few days, my major audit is just after the Christmas break. Finally manage to come home 1 hour ago. Have to return back to work again after my medical appointment in the morning. Really hectic.
Have only had time to write 1 Christmas card so far...
So many things, yet so little time!
However come to think of it, isn't it such times that will really show the difference?
Matthew 5:14 You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.
Holy Spirit shine forth in me.

This Christmas, I must not miss.

2005-12-17T22:21:00.000+08:00

A flurry of activities and Christmas is coming. Though it's the holiday season, I've been really busy with work. With all the HR checks and MSD inspections coming up, I've been working late into the night, past 10pm. To add to that, I was sick for almost this entire week, from food poisoning.
There were guitar lessons & sentosa outings for the rest of central & AOC, but none that I could attend. And now, because of someone's poor planning of duties and under-the-table transactions, I'm being activated for tomorrow's, Sunday 24h duty, even though i'm not the reserve. Doubt I'll be able to leave camp during the nights for this coming week.
Guys who are enlisting soon, please enjoy your civilian life! hahaz

Despite all these, I pray that I won't miss this Christmas, the real spirit and reason behind it. It's so easy to be lost and consumed by your own problems. Lord I pray that this will not happen to me. Give me strength that I may look beyond myself and see the need of others, their need to know the true meaning behind all the festive sales, nice lighting & music, and to embrace the reason.

Hearing & Understanding

2005-12-13T20:32:00.000+08:00

It's amazing how somethings that we hear, over and over again, never hit us until one fine day.
Like what matthew 13:14b says "You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving."
Truly without the Holy Spirit to strike the chord in our hearts, we can be receiving forever but never really digesting.
For me one example is the importance of God's word. Yes, we always hear about how important the bible is in our lives, the manual for Christian living, etc. I do read it during devotional time and service, but other than that, rarely do I flip through the bible, except to check out a certain Word of Knowledge when the Holy Spirit prompts me.
Only recently has it striked me that I really need to go back to the Word on every thought and decision that I make. Is it biblical or is it just what I think? I want to be someone who really loves and desires the Word, that it will be the ultimate authority of my life.

Pray that the Holy Spirit will help you understand and perceive the things you have received & will be receiving.

Camp pictures

2005-12-12T23:30:00.000+08:00

Impromptu Group Shot of Agents of Change(AOC) a.k.a. Central 2

Central F & 2 delegates from Hope Kuching

My beloved ex-sheep & me

Daniel & me. Don't let his attempt to smile deceive you, look closely at his eye-bags, he's really lack of sleep!

Junyao, who pose for so many pictures & complained that his jaws aches. lol

More coming soon when I get dennis to send them to me...

Espirit De Corps camp Dec 2005

2005-12-11T01:09:00.000+08:00

Espirit De Corps-Building The Dream Team

The youth camp was really great.
I learned from the teachings in which "unity of God's community" was the main theme, but that wasn't the key thing for me.
I was really touched by God throughout the camp. Like Daniel, there wasn't a single night which i did not tear. God really administered to me.

I am reminded once again that God calls us not his servants but his children, we are a royal priesthood, princes and princesses of His.
1Peter2:9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
I am chosen by God and He will anoint. I don't have to worry about my weaknesses or inadequacies, for He will provide and empower.
God be highly exalted, as people see the Holy Spirit working in my shortcomings and know that it's not on my own strength but by Your grace and might.

Another thing that I want to respond to is to be Word-centred. The Word of God is so powerful, a Christian cannot be without it. It is our weapon against the devil, against sin & temptation.
Heb 4:12 For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.
As a spiritual leader, I must be equipped with the Word. It is really what differentiates a normal counsellor from a shepherd of God's flock, that and God's presence. I must teach and grow my people according to the Word, not merely by my own experience.

I really had a great time with my central brothers and sisters. It's my 1st time in camp as a centralite. Got to know quite alot of them better. They are really hyper-active and can survive on really little sleep. My relationship with my relatively new sheep was also bridged during this camp, where we agreed to commit our time to each other and had a long heart to heart sharing while everyone was playing captain's ball on the last night.
On the side note, the games didn't really excite me anymore and I can't go that long without sleep. I'm getting old... hahazz.

Took a few photographs on the last day, the especially notable ones was that with my cg, sheep and family. I could still remember june camp, only 2 of my cousins and me were in the picture. Now there's another of my cousin and thaddeus's cousin, kaysen, who's visiting from Malaysia, that makes 5 of us. Hope numbers will be added in the next camp. :)

After we broke camp, I had lunch caregroup at TCC @ Lido. It was a time of defining the group's vision and challenging each other for greater things.

Overslept until 8pm, woke up and rushed out for a secondary mini-gathering. Finally came home at 12.30am to unpack and sleep.

I will not forget how You have touched me and the decisions I've made in this camp. Lord, help me continue to run the race, not losing my vision for You.

ESPIRIT DE CORPS

2005-12-06T22:38:00.000+08:00

ESPIRIT DE CORPS - Building the Dream Team
Y-Hope church camp 07-10 DEC 2005
NUS Kent Ridge Hall / Prince George's Park Residence
See you there!

Fatigue Work

2005-12-02T23:35:00.000+08:00

Fatigue work. As the phrase suggests is work that makes you feel fatigue.
I did fatigue work(painting the car park in my camp) last friday evening all the way past 10pm. It was no easy task, my back hurt from bending and my hands were full of paint thereafter.
Well how I got this task, is a long story, but I really have alot to thank God for. To shorten the long story:
I seemed to be picked on by my company sergeant major(CSM) last week. One of my campmates made a comment that "I've done something bad or I've not been praying enough." At this point in time, I could identify with Job completely, about how negative things still happen to those who walk with God. I thank God for the book of Job. This is not so much of a testing for me, but about valuing the Bible even more, that the Word of God is always useful, through vast timespan, the Word endures forever.
I had to do 3 extra tasks at 1st on 3 consecutive saturdays, but by God's grace, after speaking to him and justifying my case, my CSM reduce it to 1. Though I felt that I did not deserved any, I just took it, rather than blowing up the matter, which may not be to my advantage.
Fortunately, I managed to arranged to do it that friday instead, so that it will not clash with saturday's service. Another thing to thank God for.
A few others who also had extra tasks do were grumbling and hurling vulgarities, cursing and swearing at my CSM. Then one of my peers commented "you are damn calm & peaceful." It made me realise the attitude of difference that the Holy Spirit has given me. As much as I did not like painting the carpark, there is this peace and assurance that only Jesus can give.
The sky became overcast while we were painting and after awhile, it started to rain. I began to prayed and ask God to delay the rain, that our labour would not be in vain. The clouds began to dispersed and the rain became a drizzle and stopped. Praise God! I'm reminded once again that, I'm not doing things by my own strength, but with His grace and divine authority.
Last but not the least, after completing all and sharing a cab home, I realise that though it was a tedious task, valuable time was spent with my fellow colleagues and stronger bonds were forged.
God, thank you once again for your continual presence in my life.

1st Driving Lesson

2005-12-01T21:56:00.000+08:00

Had my 1st drving lesson on Monday night. Not too bad I must say, though my car stalled thrice. I must learn to control the half-clutch better. Hopefully I have enough time to learn. My test date is looming closer on the 10 March. Lord give me wisdom to understand and the mental alertness to learn at night.

Tribute to a Teacher's Life

2005-11-27T21:03:00.000+08:00

A repost.

Having my ex-students tagging my blog, makes me think back about the past, when I was still a teacher. Those times really bring back fond memories...

I spent about 2 months at Xinmin Secondary, I was in no way related to that school in the 1st place. However I must say that I was a really committed relief teacher, I usually stayed till 6-8pm, even later than most full-time teachers. I taught a whole range of classes over there: 1E3, 1E5, 1T1, 2N, almost the whole sec 3 level, particularly 3E1, and 4E3. Interesting to see how different each class was, especially between levels and streams.
The sec ones were really adorable(at least most of them), even 1T1, though they were quite noisy and hyper-active. 1E3 and 1E5 even gave me farewell presents! :)
3E1, my scholar-class, with 1/2 the class filled with foreigners, always bombarding me with math olympiad questions(not easy, have to apply A-level math!), which I recalled that my fellow colleagues rejected attempting them and I solved them myself in the end. (Shows that teachers are generally only proficient at the syllabus which they teach, even if it's the same subject.)
I even remembered 1 of my student leaders then, BGR with a guy in another of my class. They were caught by a PE teacher and were punished.(Not for BGR, but they came into school with the guy's hand around the girl.) Recalled giving her some chocolate biscuits from the staff lounge while she was clearing some cabinets as punishment.(Yes, I care for my students. =p) They broke up in the end.
I enjoyed class 3E4 the most among all the sec 3 classes, though only taught them for 2 weeks. The competitive atmosphere there is less tense, yet they are keen to learn. The students there were also great.
4E3, air-conditioned classroom, shoes have to be removed before entering their classroom. Sleeping corner attached, superb place to slack.
Beyond lesson time, I also went around to look at their CCAs and help some with their homework. I realised that marking is not easy and I come to understand why teachers make mistakes and why they so often get students to peer mark. Setting tests were also part of the jobscope, though I overestimated 3E1 and gave them a really hard one. hahaz
Just one regret that I could not stay longer to impact my students' lives to a deeper level.

Then there was my really brief stint at St Nicholas and my own Anderson Junior College.
I realised that girls in an all girls school are either real quiet or super rowdy. I'll think twice about sending my daughters there, if I do have any.
Standing as a teacher in AJC during morning assembly was really very different. Weird too I might say. Easy job, showed the JC1s videos, chat with them abit. Thats about it. Met many of my juniors, JC2s that I know, hearing them address me as "Mr Chan" for the fun of it. Conversed with my teachers as a teacher. :)

All in all, I must say that I relished the time when I was a relief teacher. Xinmin secondary clinched the School Excellence Award recently.(I remembered that we, the staff, were preparing the school for it while I was there. =p) I would really like to return when I finish my NS to teach at xinmin again. My sec 3s may have graduated, but my cute little sec 1s will be grown up sec 3s by then, it will be great to see them again. Hopefully I can...

However if you ask me if I would be a teacher in the future, my answer is no. I just feel that teaching the same syllabus over and over again will get dry and monotonous. 5 years maybe, but not a lifetime career.
Having such large classes also hinders the personal touch. It is not just about teaching, but educating youths holistically, something that I find quite impossible with large classes and a packed schedule.
Well, but I'll never know where God will bring me to. Who knows after my degree, the Holy Spirit may just make this my calling.

Brother's Night

2005-11-27T19:54:00.000+08:00

AOC celebrated Daniel's birthday on saturday after service. It appears that many think that our leader dresses shabbily. Majority of his gifts are clothing. lol
After which daniel showed his choleric portion of his nature with sub-district level SEED meeting following immediately.

CF1 had our 1st brothers night after that. We went to race daytona, then to jeremy's house. His mum was really hospitable. She made supper and breakfast for us. It was a great time of living life together and sharing "secrets". We watched a documentary about Lena Maria and discussed about it. An impromptu extended prayer followed which lasted for 45 minutes.
Stanley, Kaiyan and me blackout the earliest, close to 2am.

After breakfast at 8.30am, in which i had hot chocolate(Thank God for jeremy's mum! :p), we decided to watch Harry Potter and caught the 10.30am show at PS.
Finally, we bid farewell. Home to sleep.

My 1st driving lesson starts tomorrow.

1e5 chalet

2005-11-24T22:09:00.000+08:00

I went to drop by my ex-students' chalet on tues night. It was really interesting. The last time I had been to a chalet was like last year, and it wasn't really that successful. Going to a chalet as a ex-teacher, really feels different. For starters, the parents who booked the chalet were pretty shock that I was their teacher. To a certain extent, there was an atmosphere of awkwardness. Some still called me Mr Chan, while others prefer to call me Nicholas, I'm fine with both. But the ice soon broke when I introduced some interesting games like "PIGGY" to them. Had a night walk, in which I offered to bring them to see the red house. However it didn't went through as many of them were afraid.
This question always appears: "Aren't you afraid of ghosts?" My answer is no.
Then next question: "You don't believe?" I wanted to answer: "I don't, but I believe in spirits." But on a second thought, it's the same to them, and at their level it's hard to explain, so I just answered "yes".
"Why not?" ensued.
Ans: "Because I believe God is with me and He is more powerful. I don't have to fear."

I slept a meagre 2 hours there and went back to camp.

Camp Shift

2005-11-24T21:19:00.000+08:00

Busy week this has been, 1 Guards just shifted to bedok. We spent alot of time packing and unloading. Bedok camp 1 is a super old camp, used as a transitory place for many units. Guess I won't be going home during weekdays.

It hasn't been a very good week, with disputes in with someone who is really arrogant in camp. His arrogance is really getting to me.
Well but what he said, made me realise something about myself. I am someone who likes to do things alone in camp, e.g. go for lunch alone. Perhaps, this is partly due to my choleric nature, I'm quite task oriented. This makes some people think that I'm selfish and self-centred. I'm making a concious effort to change this right now, asking people to come along for lunch, volunteering to go the extra mile, etc.

Father I need your help. Help me to love those around me. Give me strength as I face obstacles.
2 Cor 12:10b For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Change me, mould me, refine me.
I need your empowerment.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

2005-11-20T20:26:00.000+08:00

General Paper students take note! This is useful for your GP. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

I'm not going to expound on what it is, details of it abound the internet.
This was something I learned in my JC years, but has return to me once again, at a deeper level when self-fulfillment was mentioned during Central F seed meeting.

Self-Actualisation VS Serving God.
This hit me very strongly. Are we using the church for our own self-fulfilment? It is a thin line between using the church to achieve self-fulfilment and being fulfilled when serving God. It is a subtle difference, yet has major consequences to your spiritual health.
That is why as Christians, we must never aim towards self actualisation, but a higher level of self-transcendence. Not merely looking at ourselves, but having the heart of a servant of Christ & being the Almighty's beloved child simultaneously.

Check your heart motives today.
Which one are you?
I pray that I'll never fall into desiring for just self-actualisation, but transcendence.
I am here to serve.

Healing Rally

2005-11-16T21:21:00.000+08:00

Healing Rally was on the 15 & 16 Nov. I asked someone along for the one on the 15, someone who I think needs healing. He wasn't sure about it, didn't reply me in the end, but I went, just for that small chance that he would turn up. He didn't.
No doubt there was the temptation of going home to rest after a long day, but I do not regret going for it, even when he didn't turn up.
I was the only 1 from central there, or so I thought, I went to sit sihan from NE.
The healing rally was a time of praise, worship, teaching, intercession and healing. We had visitors all around the globe, pastors from other Hope churches around the world in the rally.
The teaching was good. A quote: "God allows some people to carry weakness or illnesses in their life. It is within God's plan." Jer 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Someone who couldn't hear properly was healed in the right ear. Someone who was troubled by pain in her right brain was relieved of it. We prayed for a by-pass patient, cancer patients and many others.
I found out that Daniel went for the healing rally after the whole thing ended, so that makes just the 2 of us centralites. :p Went home with him, Shirley and Eelee on NEL.
Work commitments, couldn't attend the one on the 16.

Other stuff: I acceded to do duty for a fellow campmate this Fri evening to Sat morning. Come to think of it, it is really... , since I have medical appointment on Fri afternoon and I actually don't have to go back to camp. Still I want to be salt and light, and it's within my capacity to help him, I don't really have anything on that night.

So many books, so little time.

2005-11-14T22:36:00.000+08:00

Theres just so many books that I want to read, but so little time.
In my house sits
Come Thirsty by Max Lucado
Too Busy Not to Pray by Bill Hydes
Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince by J.K. Rowling

And in camp lies Purpose Driven Life, which I've reached the last chapter, yet unable to find time to finish.
Then theres still the digital ebook of Case for Faith.

My priority is always the Bible though. God's word can speak volumes. :)

Hope I can find the time to read other books too...

The Community of God

2005-11-13T13:44:00.000+08:00

At X-square @ Plaza Singapura last night, the central group, majority from AOC, were playing xbox games and watching others play. The guys as usual were playing winning 11, while the girls discovered a new game: Fatal Frame 2(the game in which a girl uses her camera to banish ghosts). Their screams could be heard the moment I stepped into X-square. Jiehui and I just sat beside Daniel, looking at the entire group having fun, with a few dialogues between us. Not being the centre of attention, but just observing others having fun and bonding together, can be a great pleasure. It's great to see how AOC is bonding together. What Daniel mentioned I believe is true, that leaders have to be close to each other 1st, before the members will bond. The careleaders will bring their group to meet other caregroups. :)

I observed somethings about church friendship and friends in the secular world.
No doubt such xbox events can involved just a secular group of friends, to an outsider, I doubt there will be any observable difference. But there are significant differences in the 2 friendships.

1) I realise that in church, strangers can get well acquainted with each other quickly, I do not deny that personality plays a part, but there is much more than that. Within the church family, there is always this atmosphere of acceptance that is very pervasive. It is human to judge, but we try not to, and look beyond the surface. We readily welcome and accept each other for who you are, not your dressing, looks, etc.

2) We have a covenanted relationship. As children of a God of covenants, we are a covenanted chruch. There are unspoken covenants between us. One of it I believe is that of basic trust, that you are my brother/sister in Christ, and have no malice against me. It is this fact that makes it is so much easier to share your problems to someone in church, than elsewhere.

3) It is a friendship that lasts. Many secular friendships, do not go beyond the boundaries of the school/camp/work. Once you change school, that's it, I have my own life, you have yours, we all have to move on, it's goodbye! Perhaps we'll still meet up once a year, to see each other but that's it.
I'm not saying that you'll be in the same caregroup/unit forever, I myself have been through many transfers. But there's always the confidence in the past relationships, that as long as we all are still serving God, nothing can pull us apart.
Ask me to share anything to my exex-, or exexex-shepherd, I'll gladly do it. For my secondary school best friend, I'll think twice.
We'll still see each other 50 years down the road in the senior citizens group! LOL

4) We have Jesus. That makes a whole world of difference.

This list is not exhaustive, there are many others, I believe you will discover them as you stay in Hope Church longer. I have 1 regret, which is not committing my life to this family of God earlier in my life. Don't live to regret your youth.

This is the Community of God.

If true and genuine friendships entice you, we welcome you to Hope Church Singapore. :)

A long day

2005-11-13T00:33:00.000+08:00

Well just summarising the past 2 days:

1stly the combined church prayer meet on Fri, I'm glad I chose to go for it, even though it was totally out of the way in Bukit Merah. There was a blackout during the prayer meet, there was no music, no lights. Amazingly however, the microphones were still working. We continued to pray as a church, worshipping God in Spirit & in Truth. It was really a great experience, it's more than the music, it's about Jesus. I'm reminded of the song "Heart of Worship" (If u know how the song came about, u'll be able to identify with me :p). Prayer isn't a natural activity, we have to deliberately set aside time to pray. I choose to build up my prayer life. I want to have longer conversations with the Lord, growing and exercising my spiritual giftings, to be in His presence is just so wonderful. I'll be going for every prayer meeting if I can.

Kbox on Saturday morning before service, sang quite a few songs, throat went abit sore. Kbox is really a good place to slack, even if u don't really want to sing :p The BBQ fish was nice.

Church service thereafter, my sorethroat didn't hinder me, I was all out praising & worshipping God. The sermon by our Thai pastor was great too. My throat was better already. There was this cute little British boy who came for service, name's Matthew, if he gets into a Singapore school, we'll have a British in our group. :)

Caregroup was long, more than 3 hours in fact. We really shared from our hearts, played jiehui's favourite game which I didn't really fancy hahaz and wrote encourage cards for each other. :) Our cg is growing. Thank you God.

Went to get new guitar strings, just made it in time, the shutters were half way down. Then accompanied jeremy to carrefour to shop around.
X-square the girls were playing fatal frame 2, screaming really loudly, they were really attracting attention. hahaz The gummies that I bought were really delicious, everyone said so, and daniel kept eating them. :p Raced daytona, in which daniel miraculously came in 1st, which he so proudly proclaimed and didn't want to play another game. LOL

Home. It has been a long day indeed.

Joy of The Lord

2005-11-10T21:04:00.000+08:00

A busy week it has been. Working overtime to prepare documents and files for the human resource audit. Giving tuition to rayson until 11 plus on wednesday night. Yet I don't seem to feel that stressed anymore as compared to 3 weeks ago. My perspective of NS has changed and is still changing, to one that is not only less pessimistic, and also one that seeks to give my best to God. Even the voices of those who continually proclaim "ORD!" no longer affect me. Self-deception they say, but it isn't. This is the Joy of The Lord.

I rejoice daily, singing God's praises and worship Him wherever I go.

Psalm 34:1-8
1 I will extol the LORD at all times; his praise will always be on my lips.
2 My soul will boast in the LORD; let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
3 Glorify the LORD with me; let us exalt his name together.
4 I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.
5 Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.
6 This poor man called, and the LORD heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles.
7 The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.
8 Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

Combined church prayer meet at touch community theatre after work tomorrow! :)

Guitar string snapped

2005-11-06T14:47:00.000+08:00

My 1st string just snapped, im going to replace all the strings with a better set. Anyone knows where I can get good strings?

Time to serve

2005-11-05T23:58:00.000+08:00

Advertised for church camp today, wearing uniform and doing a short skit. We had to be there at 11am for rehearsal, and do it for both 1st and 2nd service. I must say that at 1st I wasn't too keen about it. Honestly speaking, bringing and wearing uniform to nexus on saturday isn't really a "I'm excited kind of thing." It was more of a chore, serving out of my comfort zone, going so early to nexus. My mum wasn't too keen on me leaving that early either. We had a rather long conversation, which resulted in me being late for the rehearsal. Must work on this issue...
However, after the whole thing finished, my perspective changed. No doubt it was serving out of my comfort zone, and to a certain extend, humiliation for the funny act, but it was fun. And most importantly, we did it as a caregroup, serving together. We did it as a team. :)

Dying to die.

2005-11-02T14:11:00.000+08:00

Ecc 7:10 Do not say, "Why were the old days better than these?" For it is not wise to ask such questions.

Ecc 9:7a Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for it is now that God favors what you do.

Ecc 3:22 So I saw that there is nothing better for a man than to enjoy his work, because that is his lot. For who can bring him to see what will happen after him?

Past, present, future. A verse for each. God favoured the present.

Man is never contented. We moan about the present, dying to savour the future. When the present becomes past, we reminisce about the "good old days", and complain about the now present. It is a vicious cycle that can suck the joy out of you, that can make you be unthankful for the situations you are in.

PSLE
'O' Levels
'A' Levels
Teaching Stint
and now, NS.
How true isn't it? I've always wanted for my exams to be over, and now I say that I prefer studying and teaching, and I look forward to university. But when it comes who knows? Perhaps I'll be dying to get over studying again. Are we always dying to get on with another stage in life that at the end of our lives, we will realise that we have never really lived?

No, no longer will I be dying.
I will keep the fond memories of the past, looking forward to the future, yet living out the present, giving thanks for each day.

Happiness depends on happenings, but true joy comes from Jesus.
Psalm 118:24 This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Time to exercise, a swim with jiehui later, and tonight Sound of Paradise concert with tryphena and jean. :)

A Christian Funeral

2005-10-30T00:33:00.000+08:00

I've just been to the funeral of a close friend's mum.
A Christian funeral is really very different from those traditional chinese funerals. For one, Christian funeral do not focus on the rites of passage, i.e. chanting to relieve the soul, etc.
As Christians, we are already saved by the blood of Christ, there is nothing else that we can do to attain our own salvation.
The funeral service was one that was unexpectedly meaningful. I never expected to be ministered by God during a funeral service, but yes, it did.
We were walked through some memories that the family members had with the deceased, sang some hymns and read the Word of God. Then the focus was shifted from the deceased to us who are alive.
In the face of death, how should we react? It is a good time to reflect on our own lives and be assured of the ultimate sacrifice of Christ.
Our time on earth pales in comparison to eternity. The stage of life is just a preparation for eternity. What are we going to do with our lives?

Come to think of it, when I die, I don't want my funeral to come to a waste. I want to see multitudes of people coming to know the love of Christ that day. :) Let it be an evangelistic funeral! hahaz

More than an attitude

2005-10-29T01:34:00.000+08:00

Lifted from Shuyi's blog:
"But I know, that when I've prayed for something and it does not happen, it is good enough for me that You had it Your way. Yes, that You heard my prayer and in my best interest gave me what I needed. It was no accident."

This attitude I want to have towards prayer. More than an attitude in fact. Faith, the faith to continue to trust God's way in the instances of beneficial prayers which are unanswered.

Backslider

2005-10-29T00:14:00.000+08:00

Something that I penned about a month ago:

Backslider

Shepherd
CL
UL
SDL
Backslider

Human
We all are
To fall
Never too hard

Disheartenment
Irresolution
BGR
The biggest slice

A guy
A girl
For your people

What folly
You said
Irresponsible no doubt

How is it possible?
You asked
At that level?
You would never

Testing
Complacency
You left

Your house
I strolled
Shepherd
Remember?

A time not long ago
Foolishness was this
Utterly unthinkable

Listen
Perchance
You’ll hear

The Father’s cry
My beloved child
Come back to Me

The poem reminded me that God's calling is irrevocable, once you take up the cross, there's no turning back, you have to finish the race. This is especially true for leaders, people who are chosen to lead God's flock. Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter. If you ever take up the call to lead, remember this.

We may be angered when someone close to us, serving together with us, leaves. It isn't wrong to have Godly anger, but we must look beyond that; God's forgiveness. The church as the body of Christ must not seek to condemn but to express grace and forgiveness.
The doors of Hope Church is always open.

Sim Card exchanged & more

2005-10-28T23:04:00.000+08:00

Went to camp early in the morning at 7.20am , settled some stuff and left at 10am plus, for my medical appointment at TTSH. I arrived 15min earlier than my appointment time, but ended up waiting 1 hour and 20 min past my appointment time before I was able to see the doctor, for only 5min. The service for subsidised patients at TTSH is really poor. A frustrated woman went into the consultation room and shouted... Got some medication and a report of my allergy test, going to pass to my medical officer on Monday, hopefully he'll let me stay out.

Lunch time, wanted to eat, but decided to fast longer. Went to exchange my simcard, was forced to report lost instead to get a new one because exchanging a spoilt simcard need to pay $18. Then the staff said that my father had to be there just to get a new simcard, doesn't make much sense right? I managed to convinced them that I am the subscriber's son and got a new card, but i still have to fax in my dad's nric, or they'll cut off my line. I'm not even cancelling or subscribing to anything new... Singtel has really weird and redundant policies, that need to be fixed.
Finally broke fast 2pm plus, had a $8 BK meal, ate a mushroom swiss and a lamb burger.

I watched a documentary in the evening, about how a guy was paralysed after an accident and how he learned to live life again. I was particularly touched, by the part about how he came to know Christ and had a new meaning in life. He even mentioned God's healing power, that his neck was straightened after his water baptism. God is real, He isn't a figment of one's imagination.
I realised how fortunate I am to be able to serve God, with this physical body of mine. Definitely, there will be times of doubt, but I pray that I will always choose to walk His way.
I want to look to You always, not only in times of trouble. I want to bring revival to those around.

Sim card spoilt.

2005-10-26T23:58:00.000+08:00

My simcard is spoilt, don't sms me for now...
Decided not to join the dance classes, as I'm unsure if i can folk out the time.
Busy day it has been, stressful one too.
Abstinence reminded me of God's presence in times like this.

No one can rob us the joy in Christ. I want to give thanks in every situation and see it as an opportunity, whatever it may be.

Day 2 - Tempting Food

2005-10-25T23:55:00.000+08:00

The nasi lemak and orange punch looked really tempting. I resisted, being reminded again why I'm doing what im doing.
Tutored xiaoting and ate fattening macdonalds on top of my dinner though. hahaz
To xiaoting: Don't be disheartened. A B4 or better for Os is plausible.

Fasting- Day 1

2005-10-24T23:33:00.000+08:00

Today, my cg commenced on a 21 days fasting and prayer.
I chose to fast from 1 meal today, but from tomorrow onwards I'll also fast from syrup drinks for all meals to continually remind me of God's presence in my life.

"Strength of Character" That is what God dropped me today. We must be the ones that people can rely on, someone who is strong, not just on our own, but because we root ourselves in God and His Word.

Prayer. It is really true that many Christians neglect this part of their walk with God. My prayer life too, though I won't say is neglected, is I feel, inadequate.
Through this fasting and praying, I hope to experience the power of intercession and see God moving in His ways. Prayer must not be something we do out of routine, but with absolute faith that prayer works. Not only interceding for requests, but I want to grow to have a continual prayer walk throughout the day, an endless conversation with the Lord, my Saviour & Redemer, my best friend.

Manual transmission

2005-10-23T23:35:00.000+08:00

Just called my instructor and found out that he already booked for me a manual test. I'll learn manual then, not much of a choice.
I really need wisdom in time management now, and better coordination too.
Please help me pass the 1st time.

So many things, so little time.

2005-10-23T20:28:00.000+08:00

There are just so many things that I want to do, yet so little time. With the bulk of my time given to the nation, there is little left for me to do the thousand and one things I have in mind.
My top priority will be the Kingdom. This must never change no matter how packed my schedule may be.
Next comes xiaoting, peter and rayson. Their Os/As are coming really soon, as their tutor, I really want to give them my best. Hopefully they'll do well.
Then comes my driving and dance lessons. I actually wanted sign up to join jinqi, eugene and ruisi for dance lessons, however on 2nd thought, my graduating students are more important. I'll leave this aside until Os/As are over. Then I'll start my driving lessons too. I've decided to take automatic transmission, though it's $28 per lesson compared to manual which is only $24. Overall, less lessons are required and it will be cheaper. Plus I don't have to spend so much time learning and I don't foresee myself driving a manual car. So this is a wiser choice.
Hopefully I will be able to cope with both the driving & dance lessons, as well as prepare for the Christmas harvest.
Father, please give me wisdom to manage my time better.

Surviving

2005-10-22T01:00:00.000+08:00

Surviving - present continuous tense.
"I'm dying!" A statement more often heard than not, though no one really mean it literally.
In contrast to dying, surviving seems to exude optimism.
"I'm surviving." Something that I answered, recently, to people who asked me how I was. Lincoln too asked to be prayed for that he can survive through this period of his life.

On hindsight however, I come to realise that surviving isn't really healthy. It is the bare minimum of being a living thing. If you are not surviving, you are dying.
I don't want to just survive, I want to live.
The difference? Living involves a higher level of life, one with purpose and meaning.

I don't want to be just a surviving Christian, but one that is really living, full of zeal and vigor. Help me father.

Prayer

2005-10-21T00:31:00.000+08:00

I realised that whenever I am asked for prayer requests, they usually revolve around my personal life, i.e. my health, my problems, my challenges, finding my personal things, etc. Not there is anything wrong with this. We should commit everything to God.

However I am reminded that as servant-leaders, one of our responsibilities is to intercede for our people. To cover them spiritually with prayers. Many atimes, we try our best to solve our sheep problems by giving them sound advice. That is good. But we must never forget to pray and ask God for His divine help.

Prayer is powerful. People can reject our help and advice, but they can never reject our prayers.

I want to pray for my caregroup for:
Our souls to be refreshed every single day, despite the circumstance.
Our zeal to be rekindled, especially for the great commission.
Our strength to be renewed, particularly for my brothers who have to go through tedious daily routines.
Our motives and purpose to be redefined, that we can see beyond the seemingly time-wasting period of our lives to be used greatly by God.

Death.

2005-10-18T23:50:00.000+08:00

Artist: Casting crowns
Song: Who am I

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.

Who am I?
That the Bright and Morning Star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean (ocean),
A vapor in the wind,
Still You hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am.. I am Yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin,
Would look on me with love,
and watch me rise again.

Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done,
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean (ocean),
A vapor in the wind,
Still You hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling,
And You've told me who I am... I am Yours,
I am Yours.

I am Yours,
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am Yours,
I am Yours.

Once again I'm reminded of this song.
I spoke with my sheep about death, being reminded once again that my life is like a flower quickly fading, similar to a wave tossed in the ocean, akin to a vapor in the wind.

Life is temporal. Death can come quickly and suddenly. The grim reaper is age-blind, oblivion to the deaths of children or centenarians. How then shall we approach death? Fear is innate, yet futile.

I want to be one who looks back on my life without regrets. The best of my youth committed to His kingdom and making a tangible difference in peoples' lives.

I will run the race. At the end of this race, when I meet my father, I hope to hear
"Well done, My good and faithful child."

Mediocrity

2005-10-16T19:36:00.000+08:00

Average. Mediocre.
Blending in with the crowd. At times this is good, gets the attention away from you, gives you a space to breathe...
However when it comes to life in general, no one likes to be mediocre.
Imagine on your tombstone: Herein lies _______, who led a mediocre life, doing average things just like any other person on the street, now buried 6 feet under just like any other.
Of course no one would write such a thing on his own tombstone, but it's something to think about.

Especially when it comes to the Kingdom of God, are we just being average? Do we just go for service, say prayers, perhaps even caregroup , period. Some may feel that this is already doing alot more than what a "normal" Christian will do, sunday service, period. However, this definition of "normal" is based on the norm, standards of the world. What the Bible describes is one that is very different, in the Acts churches.
I'm not promoting extremism over here, but do we base our standards on the Word of God or that of our peers/politicians?
Shirley said it during our meeting on saturday, our enemy is average. We must never be comfortable and settle for the mediocre.
We must live dangerously for God. Not in the extremist way, but dangerous to the gates of hell. That the devil will be afraid of us. Afraid because there will be exponentially less joining him.

An attitude of excellence, we must have.
Be gone mediocrity, I will strive to be excellent in all I do, especially when it concerns Your Kingdom.

Sheep.

2005-10-15T00:46:00.000+08:00

What does a shepherd do to an unresponsive sheep after trying for quite sometime? The two extremes: Give up or Cling on? I believe neither is the best answer. "Clinging on" seems like the model answer, however it isn't the wise thing to do. The shepherd will be drained over time.
Looking at the bible, at God's character, I found what i believe is the best way.
Like the story of the prodigal son: Take the 1st step and God will run to you.
Be available for that sheep, but let him take the initiative.
Let him know that you will always be available for him, if he desires.
It takes both hands to clap.

Lost my 11B

2005-10-15T00:13:00.000+08:00

I lost my 11B a.k.a. NSF NRIC. In my camp's office. Yes in my camp. Sounds dumb. After area cleaning, I discovered it was gone. Not in my wallet nor in any of the computers' card readers. The penalty is $50 and I won't be able to access my work email for quite sometime, my chief will blast me. Please help pray for me that I'll find it...
God please help me find it when I return on Sunday night!

After Work

2005-10-13T23:05:00.000+08:00

Went RC, and found NEE having a what I believe is a post-exams celebration. Good to see so many brothers I knew closely. Went N&B for tuition, saw a girl wearing the North East T-Shirt, but couldn't recognise her. Neither could xiaoting. Weird... how did she get the shirt & who is she? Hmmm... Never mind, I've got more important things to take care of.
Maybe I'll meet one of my sheep tomorrow or saturday morning...

Zero Welfare

2005-10-13T22:51:00.000+08:00

My camp had zero welfare, and now it's in the negative range. No stay out unless approved by CO. And to add to that my chief clerk won't give me any off days for mugging so hard for the human resource test.

I thought I would be able to stay out once I manage to get a letter from TTSH next week, but no! They had to call up and cancel my appointment, because there were not enough doctors available that day! Worst still, postponing it to more than a month later! Can you believe it? A hospital cancelling their patient's appointment?! This is absurd. I'm going to call in again tomorrow and have a good chat with them, hopefully i can get an earlier date.

STRESS! It is a fallacy that admin life is good, at least in 1 Guards. So many problems, plus I haven't even taken over courses yet. NS exploits people. I'm even thinking of work during bed time!

God please give me the strength and metal stamina to carry on. I know this is a test. I shall overcome.

Camp STRESS

2005-10-11T23:21:00.000+08:00

Things are really getting hectic in camp.
For the 1st time after BMT, I had a stand-by-bed. My locker was even criticised!(BMT didn't even bother that much about our personal locker...)
Many new responsibilities, as the ACC, im being arrowed to do everything.
Courses, a big headache yet to settle, planning of duties, survey for the entire battalion on thursday...
And the responsibility of tuitioning the graduating students...

Reminder: Must not neglect caregroup and sheep.
God help me to find peace in you, despite the overwhelming pressure.
Let be be consumed by Your presence, the mountaining stress is nothing compared to your greatness.

Child-like Excitement

2005-10-10T23:54:00.000+08:00

Xiaoting is really like a little kid! She kept whining about not knowing what to study and how she didn’t manage to get her Jap magazine from Kinokuniya. In the middle of it, she was so excited about her Japanese idols, kept singing their praises and sent me 4 of their songs. Finally convinced her to study in the end.

It is amazing how God can use this seemingly time-wasting msn conversation to speak to me about something. During my bath just now, it just dawn on me and reminded me about our excitement for God. Xiaoting’s excitement to share about her Jap idols was so strong and vigorous, though I don’t even have a clue who they are. She was practically screaming in the conversation.
God impressed upon me: Why don’t I seem that excited about God, excited to share the gospel to the rest around me? I know I can’t possibly be going around screaming and shouting about Jesus at this point of my life, but do I have the desire? We tend to proclaim the things of the world that we like aloud with eagerness in sharing out interest and likes. But when it comes to Christ, even if we do it, it is rather subtle. Is it because that religion is a sensitive and touchy issue that we dare not voice out? Yes, but we must not let this hinder us from bring others to know Christ. As long as we have the desire in us, definitely there will be other ways to share about Him.
Lord increase in me the desire for your great commission.

1st Fresh post in my blog!

2005-10-10T17:55:00.000+08:00

Passed my final theory test, cleared it in 25min, 1st one to come out. :p
However I have to wait till march for my driving practical L.

Sickness, it comes to all man. Today both my sheep and my cousin had headache. The 1st thing I did was to suggest to them to take panadol and take a nap. Tryphoza told me that she did, but her headache was persistent.
This reminded me of seeking God 1st in everything. Not that there is anything wrong to attempt using practical human methods to solve your problems, but we are 1st of all Christians. We must never leave out the God factor in our lives, if not how different then are we from those who do not know Him?

Greater confidence and assurance in God. Don’t turn to him only when there’s no other solution, but seek Him 1st always. Another area to grow in.

Before this blog...

2005-10-10T17:45:00.000+08:00

Things I penned recently before I created this blog:

300905
Heavier workload, doctrinal testing, a change of shepherd, a tempting relationship, all together. Things sure come all at one go. I woke up with a headache and a bad dream, in which many of my brothers and sisters fell away, yet at the end of it, I was still praising God. Amazingly, when I woke up, I continued from my dream singing “Do you feel the mountains tremble.” God really spoke to be about humbling myself, I was in tears after I worship with the song “I Will”. A new perspective: There is something to be learned from everyone. Even if I am being put me under my ex-sheep, I will still serve You. For ultimately, I am serving the Lord God, not man. A humbling revelation, yet one that is very important and shows the character of a true servant; no longer with the leader word attached to it.
I will persevere on. I will.

081005
A satisfaction to just be a servant, yet yearning to be a servant-leader to extend God’s kingdom further. Not easy, but is it ideal? And is being a servant-leader the best way to extend His kingdom? Not necessary, but pastorally true.
Tired of desiring and waiting? Perhaps.
Overcome all these negative thoughts, I shall.
Lord give me the right attitude towards all these. I just want to serve.

Construction in progress

2005-10-10T16:30:00.000+08:00

Please be patient.